Dica para aprender inglês
comentada em 13/11/2023 17:55

A woman has an affair while her husband is at work. While she's in bed with her lover, her 13-year-old son walks in, sees them both, and hides in the closet to watch. Then the man comes home and the woman puts her lover in the closet too without noticing that her son is already in there.

Son: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes."
Son: "I have a baseball."
Man: "Nice."
Son: "Do you want to buy it?"
Man: "No thanks."
Son: "My father is standing out there..."
Man: "Okay, alright, how much?"
Son: "$250"
Man: "Okay."

Now the boy hides in the closet whenever the bell is ringing. After three weeks the same thing happens again, again the son and the lover are together in the closet.

Son: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes."
Son: "I have a baseball glove."
The man remembers the game from last time and annoyedly asks, "How much this time?"
Son: "$750"
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the son: "Let's play baseball, get your ball and glove."

Boy: "I can't, I sold the stuff."
Father: "For how much?"
Boy: "$1000."
Father: "That's outrageous, ripping off your friends like that! That's a lot more than the things are worth. You're coming to church now and confessing your sins."

Both go to church and the father puts the boy in the confessional.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Priest: "Don't start that shit again!"

postado por @vynnus em 13/11/2023 11:19

A woman has an affair while her husband is at work. While she's in bed with her lover, her 13-year-old son walks in, sees them both, and hides in the closet to watch. Then the man comes home and the woman puts her lover in the closet too without noticing that her son is already in there.

Son: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes."
Son: "I have a baseball."
Man: "Nice."
Son: "Do you want to buy it?"
Man: "No thanks."
Son: "My father is standing out there..."
Man: "Okay, alright, how much?"
Son: "$250"
Man: "Okay."

Now the boy hides in the closet whenever the bell is ringing. After three weeks the same thing happens again, again the son and the lover are together in the closet.

Son: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes."
Son: "I have a baseball glove."
The man remembers the game from last time and annoyedly asks, "How much this time?"
Son: "$750"
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the son: "Let's play baseball, get your ball and glove."

Boy: "I can't, I sold the stuff."
Father: "For how much?"
Boy: "$1000."
Father: "That's outrageous, ripping off your friends like that! That's a lot more than the things are worth. You're coming to church now and confessing your sins."

Both go to church and the father puts the boy in the confessional.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Priest: "Don't start that shit again!"

Thanks for giving me a good laugh! hahah

- What do you think of speech recognition software?
- I think they are good to wreck a nice beach.

postado por @CarameloHolder em 13/11/2023 11:37:54

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9 

My dog ate a whole bag of scrabbled tiles. So I take him to the vet. No word yet.

I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me

I can't understand why my calculator just stopped working. It just doesn't add up.

Same level:

- What do you think about your new vacuum cleaner?
- i think it sucks

what is soft at the beginning, becomes hard, harder, harder and in the end it becomes soft?.
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It's a screw that was tightened and broke.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

@maxete dad's joke

@vynnus I like memes in English. I use to send them to my niece who is studying English as well.

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a boy went to a party last night
when the party was over he decided to sleep at his grandpa's house

when the boy wakes up in the morning
he goes to the kitchen and asks his grandpa
if he saw some pills labeled ecstasy that he left over the table

and his grandpa repplies:
the kitchen is full of dragons flying everywhere and you are concerned about pills?

- What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
- Noboby nose

(trocadilho fonético com nobody knows)
 

10 + 10 = 11 + 11
Because 10 + 10 is twenty, and 11 + 11 is twenty two.

(trocadilho fonético com twenty too)

em homenagem à Mathew Perry

Phoebe vai casar e Rachel é sua madrinha de casamento.
Ela pediu para que Rachel escolhesse o padrinho: Ross ou Chandler. Quem ela escolher, vai entrar junto com ela na cerimônia.
Depois de muita confusão e insistência, Rachel escolhe o Chandler. Ele fica todo feliz e manda:

"Make groom for Chandler."

- - - - - - - - - 

A expressão "Make room" é muito conhecida que significa: dar espaço, liberar espaço, afastar-se.....
"Groom" significa noivo.

Eis que surge esse trocadilho. Eu achei sensacional e ri pra caralho!